Unbeautifully by Madeline Sheehan
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
If you are offended by the F word just skip this review. It contains it... Often!
Once my brain starts working again and can come out with suitable complete sentences to describe this book I will post a review.
Its been 12 hours since I finished the and I can still only say "Holy Fuck, Madeline Sheehan is an absolute fucking genius!"
So I've had time (4 days) to "Reel it in", I think I can control myself enough to discuss this as a calm and collected human being now... No promises though.
After I finished Undeniable, I was in love with this whole new world Madeline Sheehan shared with me. These characters may be dark and slightly fucked up --slightly? okay, very fucked up-- but boy were they fucking real?! I was on tender hooks waiting for Unbeautifully to be released. When Ms Sheehan posted on her Facebook page that she had published it on Amazon and we were just waiting for it to go live.. Well I was like a crack addict waiting for my next hit.. I think my iPad was sick of me typing "Unbeautifully Madeline Sheehan" into Amazon's search engine. But hell I wasn't missing it going live!
Now onto Unbeautifully, I was confused about seeing in the synopsis that it was Ripper and Danny's story as Undeniable made a hint towards a Danny and ZZ pairing. That all did get explained pretty quickly.
Danny grows up in this book, she is no longer the chatty girl who loves fluffy pink things. She's seen things and done things. The aftermath of Frankie "Crazy" Deluva has affected Danny more than I expected and no one sees it.
Ripper is a broken, scarred man trying to live with the things Frankie "Crazy" Deluva did to him. Death wouldn't take him so he has no choice but to exists in hell. Until Danny and that lake.. That night he started living.
It's a Madeline Sheehan book so nothing is as simple as boy and girl get it on and live happily ever after.. No where would the fun be in that.. No Madaline gives us the love then tears it from us piece by piece until we are left with a raw, bleeding, empty chest cavity.
There were so many parts of this book that I loved I had to share a few with you.
"She was always rambling on about music and clothes and some asshat named Chan-a-something Tater Tots." ~ Ripper.
I am never going to be able to watch another one of his movies without seeing a tater tot in place of his head.
Now Ripper can be scary, wouldn't wanna bump into him a dark alley scary. Hell he blindly shoots at the door because he doesn't want the bastard knocking to be there waking him up out of his alcohol induced coma. He's scary as fuck. Until...
"Then he, a self-proclaimed, drunken, gun-wielding, biker extraordinaire, plopped his ass down on the seat, tucked his dick between his legs, and pissed like a girl."
He doesn't seem so scary when Tequila makes him resort to pissing like a girl.
Ripper was hot as fuck, he had a dirty mouth, especially when in having a good fuck but boy could he make your heart melt along with your panties.
"Baby" he said softly during a series of small, hard, hip thrusts up into her. "Made up my mind. I'm takin' you home with me. Sick of fuckin' you with my hand over your mouth. I wanna be goin' deaf hearin' you screamin' my name, yeah?"
See what I mean heart and panty melting.. Ripper has a way with words alright!
Kami and Cox were the gems of this story, they made me howl with laugher when either of them graced us with their presence. Individually they were funny and together fucking hilarious.
"Cox!" Kami screamed, stalking into the room. "Shut your stupid Mexican mouth."
Cox glared at her. "Bitch, I'm Puerto Rican!"
She waved her hand dismissively. "Whatever. Don't you have some lawns to mow?"
"I'm Puerto Fuckin' Rican!"
"Bitch! Don't you got some rich boy cock you need to suck off for a new pair a fuckin' shoes?"
" No, bitch, fuck you! I'm fuckin' Puerto Rican! Say it, Kami, say Puerto Rican!"
..... "Don't you dare blame her for anything!" Kami hissed.
"See!" Cox roared. "You're always sidin' with her! You'd jump off a fuckin' bridge if she did!"
"Yes, I would!" Kami shrieked. "Do you actually think there was a chance I'd choose some hot Cuban piece of ass over my Evie?"
I'm sorry Cox but you need to come to terms with the fact that Kami will never say it! These two totally crack me up.
This book needs to come with a do not disturb sign. that contains the warning "may turn into a foul mouthed mother fucker if disturbed" For example I was happily reading, cuddled up to my husband on the sofa.
"Aw, fuck," Ripper muttered. Crossing his arms over his chest, the guy leaned back against the doorjamb. "Danny," he said, glancing over his shoulder. "Shit just got real, baby."
I was at this point when my Husband said "Babe, are you doing tea now?"
My reply was "FUCK NO! Shit just hit the fan. Cook your own fucking tea."
He looked at me dumbfound. I didn't wait around to explain what shit had hit the fan, or let him try to persuade me to do tea. No I got up and locked myself in the bedroom to commence with all hell breaking loose. Needless to say we all got fed eventually, once I'd turned the last page.
We got to see more of Deuce and Eva and how they are coping (or not) with what Frankie left behind. We even got their POV too. Deuce was just as I'd remembered him. A loving, dick that just can't seem to do anything right. Poor Deuce, is he ever gonna catch a break?
"....Motherfuckin' little fuck can't keep it in his pants for shit. Cocksucker would fuck a hole in the wall. Probably has." ~ Deuce about Cage. If that didn't get me excited for Cage's book Unattainable, the tension between him and Tegan did.
We see more of the mess going on with Dorothy & Jase. Hawke becomes a player in Dorothy's world and I am left looking forward to see what's gonna happen between those three in their book Unbeloved.
ZZ is a gentle caring loving man and I'm totally holding out for him to find happiness in Undying.
Now if none of the above makes you instantly go out and buy this series. You need to get to a doctor, because you can't have a fuckin' pulse.
"Reel it in" I hear you say?
No fuckin' way!
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